Point Break Remake – Trailer Reaction

point-break

Alek: The trailer for the Point Break remake was released recently…and it opens with the following “quote”:

“There are some who do not fear death for they are more afraid of not really living.”
– Ancient Proverb

If you notice, I had to put the word quote…in quotes, because, try as I might, I couldn’t find actual evidence of this quote ever being said…or documented…or even on someone’s Instagram. So right off the bat, this trailer establishes a clear theme for the whole movie – it’s total bullshit.

The original Point Break (and it’s irritating that from this moment on, I’ll have to reference it with that modifier) was committed to the ridiculousness of the concept and to the fact that they were just trying to cash in on the “surfer dude” concept while it was still cool. (I mean…they cast Keanu Reeves as their lead…who was still basking in the glow of the Bill & Ted movies.) This version of the movie just seems so…serious. And serious in a way that the movie doesn’t recognize how silly of a movie it should be. There’s a way to pull this off – the Fast and Furious movies are known to tip toe the line of self-seriousness and self-awareness. This movie just seems to be trying way too hard to convince us that this is a hard-hitting action and socially relevant (stealing from the rich!) movie.

“I believe that, like me, the people behind these robberies are EXTREME athletes.”
– Fake Johnny Utah II

And what, pray tell, does it mean to be an EXTREME athlete? Based on the trailer it includes the following:

    Horrible looking tattoos (so fresh, you can tell the makeup girl’s brush is still wet)
    Long sand-damaged hair…or no hair at all (to improve aerodynamics)
    An unlimited budget in order to purchase: motorcycles, surfboards, snowboards (and all of the accompanying gear), wingsuits, dirt bikes…anything you see at the X Games…but turned up to the EXTREME!
    The ability to jump…well…fall is probably a better description

Unlike the other movie trailers we’ve reviewed where we tear apart the trailer and then reluctantly concede we’ll be watching it anyway…this is a movie I’ll be avoiding (even when it shows up on Nexflix a couple months after bombing).

I’ll leave you with a real quote…one that epitomizes what this movie should have been all about:


So right off the bat, this trailer establishes a clear theme for the whole movie – it’s total bullshit.


John: When I first heard about this remake, I thought it was a joke. Then, this trailer popped up. I finally got the joke and started laughing.

I liked the original Point Break. There were a lot of great moments including the clip with one of Reeves’ most famous lines. Did anyone ever think it may not be the best idea to give a former Ohio State quarterback an undercover agent position? As a Michigan alum, I will swear my school’s program is bigger, but OSU is a nationally recognized program that has a ton of broadcasted games. Wouldn’t someone recognize him? Wouldn’t someone be curious what happened to the star quarterback when he didn’t go to the NFL draft? Oh, he joined the FBI? Well, I’m sure he quit because he wants to join our gang of extreme thieves. See? It’s an awesome movie premise!

As I watched the trailer, I wasn’t sure if the actors were joking with their portrayals. It’s almost like they were trying to be serious with the delivery of their lines while still being very bad at it. If that was the goal, mission accomplished. I salute you, gentlemen. I want to go grab some Mountain Dew: Code Red.

The stunts are “over the top”. I leave the quotes because I’m being very sarcastic. The attempts are like bad Michael Bay set pieces with less napalm fueled explosions. Escaping the landslide on a bike was crappy. The wingsuit sequence looked ok. Definitely impressive skill by the divers. Funny enough, they are the same guys who did the Chicago wingsuit sequence for Bay in Transformers 3. If you get off on this stuff, this movie is right up your alley.

Yea, this movie looks bad. I mean really bad. Will I watch it? You know what? Maybe WE will. Why do you ask? Well, there was a certain a$$hole who said we had to go watch Jupiter Rising or whatever it was called. So instead of watching something enjoyable, I’m going to drop my veto card and say we watch Point Break. America!

4 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.